Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
