Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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