come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
