As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
