walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
