weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
