Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
