anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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