ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
