he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
