Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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