I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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