I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
