i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
