I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
