this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
