shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
