So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
