i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
