Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
