I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's shark week go big or go home
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
