I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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