I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
