Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
