I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
