I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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