You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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