what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
