I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
