I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
