It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
