it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
