I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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