She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
