Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
