The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just puked most of my soul out..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
