She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
