just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
