i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
