trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
