Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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