Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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