You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
