i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
