if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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