She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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