She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
