He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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