she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
