I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
